No Bitching While I’m Spearfishing

Low tide, big attitude. This distressed dad hat is for the spearfisherman who doesn’t have time for complaints—just good shots and quiet dives.

$25.98

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Description

🎯 No nonsense. No noise. Just spearfishing.

This No Bitching While I’m Spearfishing distressed dad hat is built for the guy who trades land drama for underwater peace. Made with 100% pre-shrunk cotton twill and a soft crown, it’s as chill as your post-dive nap—and tough enough for salt, sun, and side-eyes at the dock. With a weathered look and a hook-and-loop closure for a comfy fit, it’s your new go-to whether you’re diving deep or grilling your catch.

🧢 Otto Cap Style – Classic, low-profile dad hat
🐟 Grumpy & Proud – Speaks your vibe without saying a word
🌊 Built for the Elements – Pre-shrunk cotton + distressed edge = rugged comfort
👌 Adjustable Fit – Hook-and-loop closure keeps it snug and secure

Designed with sarcasm. Printed with pride. All right here in the USA 🇺🇸💥
(Yeah, the blanks traveled more than we do—but we make ’em worth it.)

 

This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!

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    Frequently Asked Questions

    Q: How do I take care of my knife so it lasts longer than my in-laws’ opinions?
    Glad you asked. We offer three types of knives, and each has its own maintenance needs. Here’s the breakdown:

    1. Japanese Steel Knives (Yoshida Hamono – Aogami #2)

    • Dry immediately after use. These are high-carbon beauties—tough, sharp, but not fans of moisture.

       

    • Hand-wash only. No dishwashers. Ever. Seriously.

       

    • Use a wooden or end-grain cutting board to preserve that razor edge.

       

    • Oil the blade lightly with food-grade mineral oil if storing for long periods.

       

    2. Damascus Steel Knives (Grumpy Dad Fruit Knife)

    • Treat them like the fine tools they are: hand-wash, dry, and store safely.

       

    • Damascus needs a bit more TLC—occasional oiling helps keep rust at bay.

       

    • Avoid frozen foods or bone—these are precision cutters, not axes.

       

    3. X50CrMoV15 Steel Knives (Grumpy Dad Butcher Knife)

    • More rugged, less needy—but don’t get cocky.

       

    • Hand-wash and dry. Dishwasher safe in theory, but we don’t recommend it.

       

    • Perfect for meat-lovers—full-tang and heavy-duty, but still deserves respect.

       

    Q: How should I sharpen my knives without ruining them (or my countertop)?

    • Japanese & Damascus knives: Use a whetstone. Start with 1000 grit and move to 3000+ for polishing. Honing rods are fine between sharpening sessions.

       

    • X50 Steel (Butcher Knife): Can be sharpened with a whetstone, ceramic rod, or even a pull-through sharpener if you’re in a rush (though not our top pick).
    • Frequency? About every 3–6 months depending on use. When it starts squishing tomatoes instead of slicing—time to sharpen.

    Q: How long does shipping take?

    • Knives: 3–5 business days
    • Shirts, mugs, and other gear: 5–7 business days
      Because good things (and grumpiness) take time.

       

    Q: Do you offer free returns?
    Absolutely. We offer 30-day free returns, no questions asked.
    Just cover the return shipping, and we’ll handle the rest.

    Q: Where do you ship to?
    Currently, we ship to the USA only. Working on global domination… one grumpy dad at a time.

    Q: What sizes do your shirts come in?
    Our tees run from S to 3XL. They’re pre-shrunk and fit true to size, unless you’ve been lifting toddlers all day—then maybe size up.

    Q: Are your mugs dishwasher and microwave safe?
    Yes, unless you live dangerously and microwave metal (don’t).
    Our mugs are dishwasher-safe, lead-free, and ready to fuel your grumpiness.

    Q: Can I change or cancel my order?
    If it hasn’t shipped, we’ll do our best to catch it.
    Email us ASAP at support@grumpydadco.com.

    Q: Is this a good gift for Father’s Day?
    Is bacon a good breakfast?
    Yes. Grumpy Dad Co. gear is made to be gifted—to dads, stepdads, and honorary dads everywhere.

    Q: Do you include gift messages?
    Sure thing. Just add a note at checkout, and we’ll include it.
    (No judgment on your dad joke game… well, maybe a little.)

    Want 10% Off?
    Of Course You Do.

    Get your 10% welcome discount instantly, because being grumpy doesn’t mean paying full price.