No Bitching While I’m Spearfishing

Low tide, big attitude. This distressed dad hat is for the spearfisherman who doesn’t have time for complaints—just good shots and quiet dives.

$25.98

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Description

🎯 No nonsense. No noise. Just spearfishing.

This No Bitching While I’m Spearfishing distressed dad hat is built for the guy who trades land drama for underwater peace. Made with 100% pre-shrunk cotton twill and a soft crown, it’s as chill as your post-dive nap—and tough enough for salt, sun, and side-eyes at the dock. With a weathered look and a hook-and-loop closure for a comfy fit, it’s your new go-to whether you’re diving deep or grilling your catch.

🧢 Otto Cap Style – Classic, low-profile dad hat
🐟 Grumpy & Proud – Speaks your vibe without saying a word
🌊 Built for the Elements – Pre-shrunk cotton + distressed edge = rugged comfort
👌 Adjustable Fit – Hook-and-loop closure keeps it snug and secure

Designed with sarcasm. Printed with pride. All right here in the USA 🇺🇸💥
(Yeah, the blanks traveled more than we do—but we make ’em worth it.)

 

This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!

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Frequently Asked Questions

T-Shirts

  • Wash inside-out in cold water to keep colors bright and prints intact.

  • Use a mild detergent—no bleach or harsh chemicals.

  • Select a gentle cycle; rough spins weaken fibers.

  • Air-dry flat or hang to dry; avoid tumble drying to prevent shrinkage and fading.

  • If ironing is needed, do so inside-out on low heat, especially over prints.

  • Fold for storage rather than hanging long-term to avoid shoulder bumps.

Mugs

  • Hand-wash only; dishwashers and strong detergents can dull decals and finishes.

  • Clean with a soft sponge or cloth—avoid abrasive scrubbers that cause micro-scratches.

  • If microwave safe, use with care—watch out for superheated liquids and metallic accents.

  • Let mugs cool before washing to prevent thermal shock (cracks and crazing).

  • Dry thoroughly—trapped moisture around rims and handles fosters mildew.

  • Store upright or individually on saucers to protect rims from chipping.

  • Knives: 3–5 business days
  • Shirts, mugs, and other gear: 5–7 business days
    Because good things (and grumpiness) take time.
  • We offer 30-day free returns, no questions asked.
    Just cover the return shipping, and we’ll handle the rest.
  • Currently, we ship to the USA only. Working on global domination… one grumpy dad at a time.
  • All major cards, PayPal, Apple Pay, and the occasional dad joke—though Visa processes faster.
  • Safer than the secret chocolate stash you think your kids haven’t found. 256-bit SSL + PCI-compliant checkout.
  • 30-day money-back guarantee, no-questions-asked. (Well, maybe one sarcastic question, but we’ll refund anyway.)
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